Neurotypicals - how wierd are we?

Recently, the Small Boy has decided that he's a cat. He's been running round the house on all fours miaowing, often with a lead attached to him being pulled by a Big Sister Owner(yeah, verisimilitude fail - actually double verisimilitude fail since it's a firm rule in the house that leashes for Human Pets are never worn aorund the neck, so this is Mumma's scarf tied round his tummy).

Naturally, I am over the moon about this. Pretend Play For The Win! Also, this is treading ground that has already been well worn by the Sisters - in fact, the Taller Girl is still regularly a tiger in her tiger suit, and the Smaller Girl has been treating herself to cat facepaints as often as she can find someone to do it on her.

Still. If this weren't a thing that millions of kids do every day, something that's practically a requirement of a normal childhood, imagine how bizarre we'd find it. Pretending you're a teacher or a doctor or a daddy - fine, training for adulthood, we can see the point in that. But pretending you're a domestic animal? With a tail and whiskers and all? That's trip-to-the-psychiatrist territory.

And that's not the only bizarre thing about supposedly "normal" children. What about attachment toys - those fuzzy beloved companions of bedtime. What - you're saying your kid can't go to sleep without this particular sack of soft fluffy material in the shape of a bear/dog/sheep/cat/cow? That they talk to it as if it's real? Madness! And the universal childhood compulsion to walk on walls, when there's a perfectly good and much easier footpath just there. And invisible imaginary friends - how many kids have one of them?

Beside these peculiarities, 'strange' autistic things like hand flapping and lining up your toys seem totally normal. And just like all those behaviours have a reason, so do all the 'autistic' ones - if we can just figure out what it is.

Spotty Rash Disease

Spotty Rash Disease - an analogy of Autism.

Suppose that the state of medicine in this country was less advanced than it is. Much, much less advanced. We didn't have the germ theory of disease, we didn't have chemotherapy or radiology or X-rays or even the theory about the heart pumping the blood around body. All we had was a black box - our bodies - and the ability to classify illnesses according to what we could see from observation, from the outside.

That would be pretty hard.

We would probably classify diseases a little like the ancient Hebrews classified animals - where bats were considered a kind of bird, because the 'bird' classification was really 'things that fly'. Or whales were classified with the fish - 'things that swim'. We might end up with 'coughing disease' or 'high fever disease' or 'spotty rash disease'

If you were diagnosed with Spotty Rash Disease - well, this might mean almost anything. In actual reality you might have chickenpox, rubella, measles, a viral rash, excema, a food allergy or the bubonic plague. And maybe you might go searching for other people who had previously had Spotty Rash Disease, to see if their experiences would give you any insight into how to manage your sickness. Ultimately, you'd probably find a number of people who did have (in reality) the same sickness as you, and they'd be able to give you some useful tips. But you'd have to sift through a whole bunch of other 'Spotty Rash Disease' sufferers who actually had a totally different illness, and whose advice would do you no good at all and would likely be entirely contradictory to each other. Put a lotion on it. Don't put anything on it and let it breathe. Rug up warm. Wear light clothes and let the air circulate. Keep of nuts, keep off eggs, keep off dairy, keep off wheat. Just wait it out and it will get better. Take a year's worth of penecillin. Go straight to hospital, do not pass GO.

That's what it's like when you're only looking at the outside.

A person in a support group I belong to has a very wise thing to say - "Labels aren't important. Issues are important." Never mind labels. What issues are you dealing with? Who else is the same? What did [i]they[/i] do about it? Who else is dealing with your specific version of 'Spotty Rash Disease'?

Not My Boy

They say…



Autistic kids don't make eye contact

(not my boy)

Autistic kids don't like cuddles

(not my boy)

Autistic kids need you to do the same thing the same way all the time

(not my boy)

Autistic kids rock, flap their hands and walk on their toes

(not my boy)

Autistic kids can tantrum for hours

(not my boy)



My boy is an introvert

(like his biggest sister)

He is very sensitive to dirt, muck and things that 'feel wrong'

(like his mum)

He wants things to be done The Right Way

(like his dad)

He can't leave off something in the middle

(like his middle sister)

He sometimes thinks Sleep is for the Weak

(like three-quarters of his family)

He wants the world to obey his will

(like more Small Folks than I can count. And sometimes Big Folks too)



Sometimes my boy is kinda weird.



But aren't we all.