The Incredible Pointing Finger

I have a story I tell about the Taller Girl when she was a baby, and it goes like this:

Being a First Child, the Taller Girl was fair game for every baby fad that might happen to come along, one of which was Baby Sign Language. The theory is, kids find Sign easier to learn, in the first instance, than talking, so if you start off teaching them some sign in the early months you can get communication happening earlier than it might otherwise do, and not only does this potentially mean Early Talking (and we all like Early Talking - more on this later) but also it is far pleasanter for the baby herself to be able to make her needs understood, and all-round makes you and your Small Person have a happier time. And we all like happier times too.

So I was up for that, and I decided that the best time to go for teaching her signs was when she was sitting up for solid food, since not only was she strapped down and a helpless victim for my experimentation (hah!) the idea of food was very motivating for her. I didn't pay much attention to whether the signs I chose were "real" signs in ASL or Auslan, since I figured it didn't make much difference at this point so long as I was consistent. So I started off with two - a cup-drinking motion with thumb and little finger extended for "drink" and a "T" for "toast".

For a month or so I taught her these conscientiously at every mealtime, making the sign each time before I handed her the object, with very little obvious result. And then one day she's sitting there eating her toast, and looking thoughtfully at the cup and ... she does the sign for "drink"! And I give her the drink. And this absolutely beatific expression comes across her little face - like, "Hey! I move my hand like this and I can make them DO STUFF! Whoa, the power!"

The next day, she figured out she could get the same effect by grunting and pointing. She never actually made a hand sign again.

Now I have always told this story as a kind of joke against myself - the best laid plans of mice and mums... But it's actually not really. It has taken years, and two more children, for me to finally get what the actual point of the story is. The point is not "hey, you think you're in control of these Small Folk but actually they have their own agendas and are tricksier than you think." Though this is undoubtedly true. But the point is actually -
only eight months old and already she can point with a pointing finger! Woohoo! Go you Tiny Girl!

Pointing with a pointing finger was one of my goals for the Small Boy in the first part of the year, and he's picked it up like a champ - but we had to work on it. It didn't "just happen" like it did with the Sisters. So, pointing at eight months versus pointing at a bit over three years. It's a bit of a difference. Pointing is not one of those things like crawling or walking or saying their first words that everyone in Mums group is constantly picking over and comparing between children and wondering if their kid is picking up fast enough. But it should be. It's important. And every time I see my Small Boy grunt and point at something, I remember it.

Neurotypicals - how wierd are we?

Recently, the Small Boy has decided that he's a cat. He's been running round the house on all fours miaowing, often with a lead attached to him being pulled by a Big Sister Owner(yeah, verisimilitude fail - actually double verisimilitude fail since it's a firm rule in the house that leashes for Human Pets are never worn aorund the neck, so this is Mumma's scarf tied round his tummy).

Naturally, I am over the moon about this. Pretend Play For The Win! Also, this is treading ground that has already been well worn by the Sisters - in fact, the Taller Girl is still regularly a tiger in her tiger suit, and the Smaller Girl has been treating herself to cat facepaints as often as she can find someone to do it on her.

Still. If this weren't a thing that millions of kids do every day, something that's practically a requirement of a normal childhood, imagine how bizarre we'd find it. Pretending you're a teacher or a doctor or a daddy - fine, training for adulthood, we can see the point in that. But pretending you're a domestic animal? With a tail and whiskers and all? That's trip-to-the-psychiatrist territory.

And that's not the only bizarre thing about supposedly "normal" children. What about attachment toys - those fuzzy beloved companions of bedtime. What - you're saying your kid can't go to sleep without this particular sack of soft fluffy material in the shape of a bear/dog/sheep/cat/cow? That they talk to it as if it's real? Madness! And the universal childhood compulsion to walk on walls, when there's a perfectly good and much easier footpath just there. And invisible imaginary friends - how many kids have one of them?

Beside these peculiarities, 'strange' autistic things like hand flapping and lining up your toys seem totally normal. And just like all those behaviours have a reason, so do all the 'autistic' ones - if we can just figure out what it is.

Peenamite Dynamite

The Small Boy's diction has always been excellent. Even back in September when he was only saying two things, ever ("no" and "oh no"), though there might not have been many of them, the words themselves were perfectly clear. It is absolutely adorable to hear him meticulously and correctly pronouncing "watermelon", "motorbike" or "dinosaur" (to name three favourite things).

There is just one exception to this principle. Vegemite, in Small Boy land, should be pronounced "Peenamite". And I have Absolutely No Idea why. Is it halfway between Vegemite and Peanut Butter? Perhaps. But he doesn't eat peanut butter. He certainly recognises the word "Vegemite" when it's used to him. Occasionally he experiments with the 'V' word ("Vege-ge-mite onna sandwich!"). But basically the alternate seems to have stuck in his mind now as The Way It Is Said, and apparently nothing is getting it out.

Spotty Rash Disease

Spotty Rash Disease - an analogy of Autism.

Suppose that the state of medicine in this country was less advanced than it is. Much, much less advanced. We didn't have the germ theory of disease, we didn't have chemotherapy or radiology or X-rays or even the theory about the heart pumping the blood around body. All we had was a black box - our bodies - and the ability to classify illnesses according to what we could see from observation, from the outside.

That would be pretty hard.

We would probably classify diseases a little like the ancient Hebrews classified animals - where bats were considered a kind of bird, because the 'bird' classification was really 'things that fly'. Or whales were classified with the fish - 'things that swim'. We might end up with 'coughing disease' or 'high fever disease' or 'spotty rash disease'

If you were diagnosed with Spotty Rash Disease - well, this might mean almost anything. In actual reality you might have chickenpox, rubella, measles, a viral rash, excema, a food allergy or the bubonic plague. And maybe you might go searching for other people who had previously had Spotty Rash Disease, to see if their experiences would give you any insight into how to manage your sickness. Ultimately, you'd probably find a number of people who did have (in reality) the same sickness as you, and they'd be able to give you some useful tips. But you'd have to sift through a whole bunch of other 'Spotty Rash Disease' sufferers who actually had a totally different illness, and whose advice would do you no good at all and would likely be entirely contradictory to each other. Put a lotion on it. Don't put anything on it and let it breathe. Rug up warm. Wear light clothes and let the air circulate. Keep of nuts, keep off eggs, keep off dairy, keep off wheat. Just wait it out and it will get better. Take a year's worth of penecillin. Go straight to hospital, do not pass GO.

That's what it's like when you're only looking at the outside.

A person in a support group I belong to has a very wise thing to say - "Labels aren't important. Issues are important." Never mind labels. What issues are you dealing with? Who else is the same? What did [i]they[/i] do about it? Who else is dealing with your specific version of 'Spotty Rash Disease'?